DAY 2: Weight Watchers

Today was my very first meeting at Weight Watchers. I had the fear of walking in there and getting laughed at for being so heavy and I started having second thoughts. As I drove there I started thinking about making a U-turn and going back to bed since the meeting was at 8am. I tried thinking of any excuse on why this was a bad idea. I started to go back to my old ways of thinking that I was able to make this work and that I am a foolish girl for trying to change. As I started feeling hopeful I did something new and I caught myself. I realize that I am my worst enemy. I am the only reason why I haven’t lost the weight. I analyzed my body every single day and I hope and pray for a new one yet I’m not willing to put in the work. I cannot continue to do this. I’m only 28 years old and I should have the world at my feet. No more self-doubt. So, I drag my feet in to the meeting and I did it.

It’s a good thing that I did because it opened my eyes to what I was really trying to avoid, which my actually weight. This whole time I thought I had only gain 30 pounds, but it seems like the damage is a lot worse. 45 pounds!! Never in my mind did I think I could gain so much weight and not notice it. Where was I when this was happening to my body???

As I began to feel sorry for myself I walked in to the room where the meeting was being held and I looked around. The people there were not looking at me and laughing. There was a very positive energy in the room. Everyone was happy to be there and no one was judging.

As the meeting went on I felt very comfortable being there. 

Everyone was like me. We made some kind of mistake and someone ended up in this situation. Everyone wants support, understanding, empathy and help it this seems to be the place to get it. It’s a nice feeling that you are not alone. I feel like I have a support system now that will get me where I want to be and it’s a great feeling.

As for my workout: I didn't work on my arms as I wanted to because it was another beautiful day in Chicago. I went for a walk by the lake and walked for an hour.